I, like most of you out there in geekdom, have a love of energy drinks that has been going on for over a decade now.  With me it started off as a necessity back in the mid 90s because of having to stay up late for work but has grown to be an all encompassing part of my life.  Not because I have to, or particularly enjoy it, but because part of my brain immediately says, “ME WANT” whenever I see a new can in a store.  Just like in NY, Detroit has an overabundance of corner stores [i.e bodegas, party stores.] which basically means there’s new types energy boosters on an almost weekly basis.

It’s a bit weird to think that most drinkers of energy drinks use that energy to sit in a chair with a controller or keyboard and mouse in their hands.  But that’s what makes us geeks and I doubt we would ever change that fact.   With this in mind I had the idea to rate some of  the tasty/rancid beverages that may come across my path over the next few months.  I would like to now proudly announce the:

Rules

Drinks will only be tested while thoroughly sleepy, which basically means as soon as I wake up.  Drinks will first be sampled for taste, then guzzled immediately.  I’ll see when I begin feeling a difference then check in every hour or so after that point.  I will be looking for whether I feel jittery or awkward as well as feeling as if I’m going to crash.  Now to the main event…

Rockstar : Juice + Energy (Energy Drink Review)

Taste – Right off the bat I would like to say how tasty this drink is.  I’m not quite a fan of the Guava flavored Rockstar that’s out there, but this one is a really good mix of flavors that perfectly mask any of the tang that’s synonymous with energy drinks.

Boost – It kicked in about 30 – 40 minutes in and was a slight improvement on my lethargy.  Semi out of it but definitely not as groggy prior to drinking it.  Felt tired as apposed to sleepy.

Longevity – Within an hour I was already on the down slope.  By an hour and a half I felt an imminent crash approaching.  At around 2 hours flat I felt the need to get up and walk around to just so I could get alert again.

Final Verdict – Great to drink if you’re looking for something to quench your thirst but I would not suggest it for any late night cramming sessions or gamerthons.

Hydroxycut : Instant Weight Loss Shot (Energy Drink Review)

Taste: I took a sip of this and let it roll around my tongue a little bit and regretted that choice almost instantly.  While the Wild Berry is great while taking the full shot down in one go, savoring it felt like a blueberry soaked in Robitussin was used to coat my tongue its mediciny goodness.

Boost: I felt this bad boy about 20 minutes after downing the small bottle.  After a little over 2 hours I was still feeling alert with absolutely no jitters to be had.  Around 3.5 hours I began to feel it wear off and at around 4 I felt myself come down but it was nowhere near a crashing halt like some of the other stuff on the market..

Final Verdict: I’ve tried these energy shot boosters before and I have to say Hydroxycut’s one is a damn good product.  If it can deliver on half of the other claims it makes about weight loss, perhaps buying a case of this is in my near future.

Well those are the first two contenders now and I already have a few more lined up to toss down my gullet for your amusement.  Until then, here’s a snazzy little photo I took while at Pike Place during Penny Arcade Expo in ’08.  Yes, that can is really that huge.