Energy Drink Review – Taste/Boost/Longevity Challenge ‘09!

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Energy Drink Connoisseur

I, like most of you out there in geekdom, have a love of energy drinks that has been going on for over a decade now. With me it started off as a necessity back in the mid 90s because of having to stay up late for work but has grown to be an all encompassing part of my life. Not because I have to, or particularly enjoy it, but because part of my brain immediately says, “ME WANT” whenever I see a new can in a store. Just like in NY, Detroit has an overabundance of corner stores [i.e bodegas, party stores.] which basically means there’s new types energy boosters on an almost weekly basis.

It’s a bit weird to think that most drinkers of energy drinks use that energy to sit in a chair with a controller or keyboard and mouse in their hands. But that’s what makes us geeks and I doubt we would ever change that fact. With this in mind I had the idea to rate some of the tasty/rancid beverages that may come across my path over the next few months. I would like to now proudly announce the:

TBLC '09

Rules

Drinks will only be tested while thoroughly sleepy, which basically means as soon as I wake up. Drinks will first be sampled for taste, then guzzled immediately. I’ll see when I begin feeling a difference then check in every hour or so after that point. I will be looking for whether I feel jittery or awkward as well as feeling as if I’m going to crash. Now to the main event…

Rockstar : Juice + Energy (Energy Drink Review)

Taste – Right off the bat I would like to say how tasty this drink is. I’m not quite a fan of the Guava flavored Rockstar that’s out there, but this one is a really good mix of flavors that perfectly mask any of the tang that’s synonymous with energy drinks.

Boost – It kicked in about 30 – 40 minutes in and was a slight improvement on my lethargy. Semi out of it but definitely not as groggy prior to drinking it. Felt tired as apposed to sleepy.

Longevity – Within an hour I was already on the down slope. By an hour and a half I felt an imminent crash approaching. At around 2 hours flat I felt the need to get up and walk around to just so I could get alert again.

Final Verdict – Great to drink if you’re looking for something to quench your thirst but I would not suggest it for any late night cramming sessions or gamerthons.

Hydroxycut : Instant Weight Loss Shot (Energy Drink Review)

Taste: I took a sip of this and let it roll around my tongue a little bit and regretted that choice almost instantly. While the Wild Berry is great while taking the full shot down in one go, savoring it felt like a blueberry soaked in Robitussin was used to coat my tongue its mediciny goodness.

Boost: I felt this bad boy about 20 minutes after downing the small bottle. After a little over 2 hours I was still feeling alert with absolutely no jitters to be had. Around 3.5 hours I began to feel it wear off and at around 4 I felt myself come down but it was nowhere near a crashing halt like some of the other stuff on the market..

Final Verdict: I’ve tried these energy shot boosters before and I have to say Hydroxycut’s one is a damn good product. If it can deliver on half of the other claims it makes about weight loss, perhaps buying a case of this is in my near future.

Well those are the first two contenders now and I already have a few more lined up to toss down my gullet for your amusement. Until then, here’s a snazzy little photo I took while at Pike Place during Penny Arcade Expo in ‘08. Yes, that can is really that huge.

Yes, it is that huge.