It can be quite a difficult task to classify who you are within the confines of an online dating profile.  What hobbies do you list, are the entries too wordy, do your jokes fall flat?  How about the very particular problem of being polyamorous?  Many dating sites only allow for a choice between 3 distinct choices: Single – Married – Prefer Not To Mention.  How about the fact that many sites are still a bit behind the times and don’t allow for choosing male looking for male or female for female when searching for potential relationships?  We’re not all cut from the same mold and deserve to try our hands at online dating with the same ease as the circle peg majority.  With my fellow squares in mind I searched the web for a few of the best “lifestyle” specific  online dating sites.

Polyamory

PolyMatchmaker.com – You can immediately tell that this site is for the Poly community by members of the Poly community, strickly from the feel of love that saturates each of their pages.  The only drawback is that this site is a little on the small side (At around 7000 strong) so you might exhaust your local choices quickly.  Thankfully the website is choked full of articles, forums, has a very active community, and it doesn’t hurt that it’s a free site to boot.

Gay Male

OutPersonals.com – The registration for this website was one of the most in depth ones I have ever filled out (other than e-harmony’s personality profile questionnaire).  Not only did I fill out my likes and dislikes, I also had the ability to choose my length, girth, clothing style, body hair, and dozens of other details that could paint a perfect picture of who I was as a gay male.  The website is set up to cut to the point rather than dilly dallying with tests and other time fillers, you look for a potential guy/couple, email them and away you go.  Outpersonals.com also has a 2 tier membership scheme that allows for choosing how featured you wish your profile to be on the main site.

Lesbian

Lesbotronic.com – This is another “for us, by us” page that looks specifically made to cater to its community.  The lesbian/bisexual/curious site stays away from the countless boring dropdown boxes found on other sites and instead you’re treated to a humorous line of questions that add a little levity to the sometimes mundane task of filling a profile out.  These questions also provide you a quick and easy way to create a profile for yourself without having to think up any of the specifics yourself.  To ensure the validity of profiles there’s also a 72 hour window in which your profile will be reviewed by one of the Web-mistresses.  While the wait might feel long, you will be treated to a site that is 10′s of thousands strong and is 100% free.

BDSM/S&M

Alt.com – Don’t let Alt.com’s commercial veneer steer you away.  When it comes down to it you will not find a bigger BDSM, S&M, or Fetish community on the web.  This huge community is comprised of folks that cover just about every demographic with tastes that vary from latex to bondage and everything in between.  The registration is just as detailed as OutPersonals.com’s is and allows for you to outline exactly what your fetishes are and what roles you prefer to play.  The pricing scheme is exactly like OutPersonals.com and is based on how “featured” you wish your profile to be on the site.

By no means are the sites above the end all be all when it comes to online dating sites dedicated to specific walks of life, but they are all quality sites that are made to fill the void left behind by their larger corporate owned counterparts.  Hopefully down the line articles like mine will not be needed but until then I hope my words have been helpful.  Later squares.

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When posting pictures of yourself online you should use some judgment. It may be superficial but your picture is the first impression that someone gets about you (even before reading your profile they will see your picture). YES, a picture is worth 1,000 words. I am not sure if there are statistics yet for how long you have to catch a potential date’s attention. However, I do know that in a resume situation you only have 10 seconds to gain an employer’s attention.

Please Refrain Yourself

You should avoid putting up pictures of your chest/cleavage, etc (yes even MEN).  It sends the wrong message (if you are looking for a one night stand or just a booty call, then by all means put your chest up). However, if you really want to find a life-partner, long term relationship, etc putting a pic up of your cleavage or chest will only get attention from the wrong people. Come on girls, do you really want those emails that say “NICE RACK”. I have even heard of women that put up pics of themselves in a wet t-shirt and then get upset at guys for noticing and commenting. And on the other hand, if I see a picture of a guy in the hot tub it sends me the message that he is only interested in sex, and at that point he has already lost me and I don’t even read his profile.

Don’t Crop Out People

For those of you who think that you can crop out your ex from your picture and nobody will notice….who are you fooling? Everyone notices and it is just tacky. What else is tacky is putting up pics that your current significant other (so) or x-so took of you. Do you really want to see pictures plastered all over dating sites of your x-so that you took?

Personal experience: My so (while I was STILL with him) created a profile on a dating site (saying he was single, unbeknownst to me) with pictures up of him THAT I TOOK!! That has to be the most rude and heartless thing anyone has ever done to me.

Also, what is up with everyone taking pictures of themselves in the bathroom mirror? I guess it is just one of those things everyone thinks they should do, I really don’t want to see a pic of a commode in the background, and nobody else does either!!

Pictures You Should Use

Ok, now that I have told you what not to use, you are probably wondering what you should use. I like to see pictures that show someone’s personality. Funny and goofy pictures are good, pictures that show you having a good time, maybe doing something you like to do, these types of pictures give your audience a better way of getting to know you. I suggest that you use 3 to 5 pictures. The reason being is because each picture shows a different side of you (personality wise), plus if you have a picture that someone doesn’t see flattering usually another one will give them a different viewpoint.

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So, you have been online dating now for some time (or maybe you just started checking it out) when you find someone that you really like and want to get to know. You find that you are spending a lot of time with that person and you are really getting to know them. You begin to call each other boyfriend and girlfriend and you are wondering what you should do with your online profiles?

Change Your Relationship Status

I was having a conversation regarding that with my roommate the other day. I feel that one should return to the online site and change there status to “in a relationship”, “seeing someone” and/or “just looking for friends”. I don’t think you would need to delete the profiles and still corresponding with people as friends need not be an issue. However, if you really want to give someone a chance to really get to know them you should probably be only seeing them. Of course, that is a discussion between you and your significant other.

Make Time to Get to Know Them

I guess the internet makes it way to easy to find other people to date. Don’t be a serial dater going from one person to the next.  Take time to get to know the person you are with, you may be missing out if you are constantly going from one date to another. Relationships take a lot of work and commitment, and they don’t happen over night. In this age where everything is so quick paced and meeting new people is probably easier now then ever before, make sure to take time to get to know the person you are with.

Here are a list of articles about online dating that I read that you maybe interested in:

• Social Networking: the Advantages and Disadvantages to Using Social Networking Sites to Find Dates (articlesbase.com)
• Social Networking: Social Networking Websites – is it Possible to Find Love Online? (articlesbase.com)

Yes, online dating can work. And internet relationships are safer than dating the guy your friend tries to set you up with.

Let’s face it there maybe plenty of fish in the sea, but if you are always fishing in the same hole – eventually you might throw all the fish back. So image that after years of fishing in a pond in your back yard, I told you that you could now jump on a boat and fish in the biggest body of water known to man. That’s what it’s like when you start dating online.

Sure you might have spend sometime getting familiar with the new waters. And of course you run the risk of running into some pretty scary sharks but at least your not still fishing the same pond, throwing back the same loser fish.

So here’s a few tips to get you started:

1. Decide what kind of relationship you are looking for.

If you decide what kind of relationship that you are looking for, it will help you narrow down which dating sites to try. Do you want a serious one? Try eHarmony.com or match.com. Want something more casual? Try OKCupid.com or plentyoffish.com. Or are you looking for something a bit more, well – undescribable? Then try craigslist.com, becollared.com or onlinebootycall.com.

2. Picture for a picture is good etiquette.

Remember though, never ask for a picture before you offer a picture. It’s just rude. And make sure that the picture is one that has been taken within the past year. Preferably in a natural setting, but not with all of your friends. Also it is good to note that at this time, the person on the other end could be your mom, dad or a cousin. So don’t show anything that you wouldn’t want them to see.

3. Emails, online chat, telephone and then meet.

There is nothing more akward than meeting up with someone that you haven’t taken the time to get to know, and then realizing that you have absolutely nothing in common. It’s like setting yourself up on a blind date. Dating online gives you some control over how fast the relationship moves so take advantage of that. You’ll know when it feels right to meet.

4. Be smart – always meet in public.

I said there were some sharks out there. Just in case you are wondering, sharks do not discriminate based on race, gender or sexual preference. If they are hungry, they will eat you. And you at least want people to know where they should send the rescue party to start looking.

5. Have fun being you.

Don’t think that you have to be someone else or put up a front. If you want something in particular, the Internet is big enough for you to find it. So enjoy being able to do so and never feel like you have to settle. After all this ocean is much bigger than the pond and I guarantee you will eventually find the fish you want to mount on the wall…or fishes.

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